Dear Lauren,
It is with great regret that I present before you charges of stamp violations against the state. You are ordered to report to court today at 1pm, at which time a lawyer will stick his tongue at you and formally charge you of...
-stamp misconduct under article 34 of stamp guidelines
-failure to refrain from touching stamps
-stamp disorder or incorrectly placing and addressing stamps...
also a cute charge may be held against you by order of the love court. Please be advised you have until noon to declare your position of guilty or not guilty, at which time we'll proceed with the hearing.
Sincerely yours,
Alexandra'e Wint
Stamp enforcer North East District
