Day one

My inspiration for writing this piece came from Chip Ingram's Love, sex and lasting relationships. An excellent guide for both singles and those already married. From what I understand there are several segments to his speech however I only caught the first part but I learned so much within 45 minutes that I just felt I had to share.
First and foremost, you have to prepare yourself. Physically,mentally, spiritually, financially..every way possible. Everyone is searching for that 'perfect guy or that perfect girl' but if everyone is just sitting down waiting for the right one to fall in their lap we'll miss the opportunity to make our self 'the right one' for our potential spouse or mate. According to Chip, you have to start at your heart. Get to know yourself, identify your strengths and weaknesses so that you can adjust.
Then when you believe you've found that person the next step is to grow in love not fall in it. Yes there will be moments of infatuation and strong arousal but you have to remember that your in a stage where your building each other up and the best way to travel uphill is slow. He also explained that there will be moments when you cant see eye to eye, when you feel as if things just aren't working and you just want to 'get out'. That's normal, we have to remember that while your dating your not 'one' as compared to the bond that married couples share so its important 'not to lose self'. You still need your own thoughts and your own foods etc. Its after you've grown together for X amount of time that you'll realize the gap in differences begins to change and that you'll start to 'think' as one, even though that's still not the case yet.
Then there's sex. The reason this is so delicate is because many couples rush into it because they 'feel like they love this person'. I cant remember the exact text he used but he showed us in the bible where it says sex is an 'expression' of love not love itself so on that notion you must first be in love to express it and how can you be in love, I mean TRUE love and its not bound by marriage according to God's eyes?
I think his notion of finding love was first find God, then find self then find that special person your looking for. Sometimes it takes a week, sometimes its love at first sight, sometimes it takes several years but the important thing is that once you've found them, help 'them get closer to God, help them get to know their self' You cant enter a relationship wondering what your going to get out of it. If everyone is taking and no one is giving, at the end of the day you'll both be drained and will have nothing to show of your time together. Next, walk in love don't try and fall into it. Love takes time to build, don't expect to live a lifestyle that you've seen depicted in those old 50's movies of the perfect couple. There will be good times, bad times, ugly times, and uglier times but 'knowing' that can help you both prepare mentally so that when you come to that wall or that trial, that test of love, you'll both be able to get over it instead of trying to smash through.
To be continued...